|
|
|
|
| Arrives at track in a Volvo station wagon | Arrives at track in a converted school bus |
| Identifies his car with tennis ball stuck on the antenna | Identifies his truck with an 8 x 12 Confederate Battle Flag |
| Brings belongings in L.L. Bean tote bag | Brings belongings in Jack Daniel's case |
| Wears weejuns, chinos, and new Summer Lights visor | Wears shower thongs, cut offs, and lucky Wynn's Friction-Proofing hat from '68 race |
| Complains about having to wait in line at porta-john | Brings his own |
| Looks at the sky, and sees Carolina blue | Looks at the sky and sees Petty blue |
| Assumes that the chain link fence around infield is to protect fans from the cars | Assumes chain link fence around infield is to protect the cars from fans |
| Lunches on cream cheese and olive sandwiches | Lunches on 48 piece bucket of Colonel Sanders |
| Brings handi-wipes for cleanup | Thinks that's why tee shirts have sleeves |
| Stops drinking while he is still in control | Stops drinking while he throws up |
| Listens to Chopin on Walkman | Listens to Hank Williams, Jr. on jambox |
| Envies fans watching race from condominiums | Feels sorry for those watching the race in condominiums |
| Gets into an argument with passerby about Bill and Hillary Clinton | Gets into an argument with fans about Darrell Waltrup |
| Says Indy Five Hundred is a sporting classic | Says Indy Five Hundred is weird!! |
| Says most admired woman in racing is Shauna Robinson | Says most admired woman in racing is Miss Winston |
| Says that Richard Petty was unethical when he used an oversized engine | Says Richard Petty just got caught |
| Has nightmares about nuclear war | Has nightmares about running out of beer |
| Watches finish of race with binoculars | Learns who won the race Monday morning at work |
|
|
